Psalm 39:7

Happy February !

2011-02-01T00:35:00.000-08:00

The hardest challenge this year already has definitely been LOVE.

Yup, I have the hardest time loving my brothers and sisters in the Lord. I can chat and surface talk with people but really love them like Jesus love is not there. That is my constant prayer is that God would give me His love for the body.

In just a week I will begin my 8th semester at bible college. I still have no idea how the Lord will use this in the future but i have been beyond blessed through it all. I am excited once again to embark on a journey of trusting in Him as I attempt to do well with what the Lord has given me. I love that saying " be faithful with the small things" I tend to lose sight of the end result but always i am reminded of His faithfulness in my weakness.

I am taking Chuck tapes :), Jonah and Theology-(w/ Katt) !!!

Day 3

2011-01-03T22:30:00.000-08:00

My Goal this year is to read more than 20 books...here are at least 12 that i have already started or haven't even opened yet.

Day 2

2011-01-03T00:55:00.000-08:00

So today was a great day. Went to 3rd service with Katt and then headed out to Brittany's house. We got some food and headed out to do some shopping at a few outlet malls. Even though it rained cats and dogs we all had a successful day. It was such a blessing just hanging out with my friends for the day :)

I pride myself of always finding amazing deals and I hardly ever pay full price, most of the time if it isn't marked down than it isn't going home with me. But I got some awesome deals :)

anyway... I am tired.goodnight

2011

2011-01-01T01:46:00.000-08:00

Project 365

an attempt to stay consistent for a year and hopefully see at the end of 2011 the good. :)

Its the beginning of 2011. Crazy how fast 2010 went.

I spent my New Year celebration with the Refuge HS kids...it was fun. All together 16 kids and counselors went. It was super duper cold...definitely should have dressed a bit warmer. Went on the few good rides that are at Knott's and ended with a lovely very sugary Funnel Cake just in time to count down the new year.

Looking back on 2010 I have definitely been blessed. I was able to be apart of two of my really best friends weddings, continue on at the bookstore as full-time(benefits and money), celebrate good times and comfort friends that went through the bad times. I grew in my walk with the Lord, got to see Jesus be more real in my life and how precious I am to Him and realize once again how much I NEED Him.

Hopes for 2011: - God would continue to grow me and shape me
- that my satisfaction would be in Him alone
- God would stretch ( gulp) me
- that my Jesus would be glorified
- I would have a better sense of calling and direction of my life
- I would get to go Skydiving soon
- That i would LOVE those who God has placed in my life

Happy New Year!!!!!

red

2010-12-29T00:41:00.000-08:00

The color red splashed upon the black and white pages
As I turned the page yet again there it appeared
The words that where so distinctly chosen
So boldly placed in this binding of letters
The color I could not ignore

At first I did not understand the importance
And the reasoning behind the color
But than as I read, it all started to make sense

Life, joy, love, hope, truth shared the color
And than I realized why red was chosen
The same color that was spread on those pages
Was also shed for the very meaning of the words

An innocent man's blood shed to remind me
That nothing else matters
This I can't ignore

Broken

2010-12-28T23:34:00.000-08:00

My dearest car is getting worse and its better that i get another car soon for as much money as i can. I am sad. I have been looking on Craigslist for about a month hoping to find something that would fit my budget. Just praying and trusting that God will provide a better vehicle for me :)

In other news....I can't believe already a year has gone by,each year i am surprised of how fast and different the year went. Almost 2011 and I am hopeful of good things for this continual chapter in my life.

out.

Promises

2010-04-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

James 5:7-8
"Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. 8 You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand."

Thursday in my James For Women class, Angie my teacher has been having guest speakers come in for half of the class and share how James has blessed them. Well this past week was James 5:7-11.
And our guest speaker was Laurie Pritchard- she was a missionary in Hungry Bible College for 7 1/2 years with her husband Mike. They just came back to the states 6 weeks ago.

She spoke with such soft words with wisdom just flowing out of her. As she was sharing a bit of her testimony about Hungry and the Lord directing her back to the states, i was reminded of how the Lord spoke to me regarding England a few years ago. I love how the Lord every once in awhile reminds us of the past promises and fulfillment's. He doesn't let us forget just how AMAZING He is. :)
"Waiting is being obedient, its doing something." I often forget that when we are called to wait it isn't a meaningless and effortless call. Waiting makes us stronger, it prepares us for the good and the bad, it points us back to the Lord.
Just like my favorite old dude in the OT, Abraham. The Lord proved to Abe and Sarah the promise of a child and the guidance as they made their way to the promise land. Abe had faith. Even today I was reminded through Pastor Craig's study this morning that it takes the little amount of faith as a mustard seed to move mountains.
"Establish your hearts" - I constantly need to be establishing my heart to the Lord. Giving Him my everything and finding my all in Him alone.

At the end of the class Laurie gave each of us women a little dirt box that had a sunflower seed and all we have to do is water it.I was SO blessed by the little time she was there. She told us that the Sunflower will grow up to 5 feet we just need to plant it, put it in the sun and water it. But we have to be patient. Just like our walks with the Lord, we need to be constantly watered, planted in good soil and filled with the Son. Through time we will be beaming Sunflowers showing God's beauty and promises.

" Faith and truth applied becomes belief" Laurie Pritchard

I'm excited to see how the Lord will move this year.
The best promise I have is that one day I will see my Jesus face to face. until than I press on. :)

Time

2010-02-17T02:32:00.000-08:00

For the past month I have been over- thinking the future. TWENTY-FOUR, that age for some reason scares me.Although it is two years away, there is so much that could happen. And to that age, is where my own thoughts for how life will turn out ends. I have decided to continue bible college and stretch it out for just one more year. It is sometimes hard to plan around the unknown. Just realizing that the older I get the more changes will occur and life will not be so, how do i say, easy. I have it so nice right now, free place to live, not to many bills, great job. But, scary to think or say it won't always be this easy. And sooner or later change will happen. In His timing I believe that I can rest in His promise for me that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

And as I get older, I hope to have a better confidence in how I present myself, in how I present the Lord to others.
For now I am called for such a time as this to live one day at time, trusting and believing that my God is in control. :)

Seasons

2009-11-17T02:43:00.000-08:00

So many reasons to be overjoyed but yet i find myself empty and longing after more than what is good for me. I long after things that put God further down on my list.

I find my self wishing that if maybe if i moved away i would be happier and find new friends that i could fellowship with.

The Lord is enough and He deserves to be number one to me.

I really miss writing poems but everytime i try to write one it just is blah.I miss fellowship so much. Part of me wants to grow up and move on with life and the other part of me wants to rewind and go back to the "easy" days. Oh Lord be my everything and take me to a place where i can see you face to face.

- Me

Life.

2009-08-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart,
with all your soul, and with all your strength."
Deuteronomy 6:5

The Lord is so deserving of all of my heart, my soul and my strength. But I am not always willing to give Him even a glimpse of it sometimes. I am learning how to fall in love with Him the more i dive into His word.

Lesson- Give it all to Him and He will be my everything.

Thank you Lord that no matter what you never let go of my hand and my life.

Abide.

2009-07-28T01:20:00.000-07:00

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you." John 15:7

So, I was thinking lately about a lot of things. Questions of the future,callings,friendships and trials. It seems at times that the only thing I see is dessert,dry and empty dessert.
Through these dessert type times I loose sight of what is really important and the reason why God has me where He has me. The Lord used 4 different studies using John 15 to really open my eyes. I have been missing the Joy of the Lord, without fully realizing I wasn't overflowing with Jesus. And my desire so badly is to draw closer to Him and be overflowing with the Fruit of the Spirit and His abundant love. I do really want to experience Joy more than happiness, True love more than my own definition of love, and His unchanging peace. After pondering on what it means to ABIDE in Him, I walk and hope and trust in Him. That through His precious love I can attain His desires for my life.

On other news. Please if you can, keep me in prayer about a certain desire that I have been seeking the Lord about.
Thanks
Be blessed. :)

VOTD

2009-06-16T13:22:00.000-07:00

Verse of the Day

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" Psalm 51:10

2009-06-11T18:57:00.000-07:00

Summer. Another summer taking place and already so much change. I knew that their would be alot of change but it is still hard.

So i picked up the guitar again. Not at all good but its something to do besides be on the computer all the time. :) I love praising the Lord. I know that God still has alot He wants to do with me. I am learning to TRUST in Him and to find my STRENGTH in Him.

- my prayer for this summer is that God would change my heart and my life and to bring glory most of all. : )

- to a new start...............

I

2009-05-30T00:29:00.001-07:00

Honesty.

My walk with the Lord is eh.

Most of the time when I am at church I feel alone.

I feel defeated. I know Jesus is with me.

I hate sin. I hate alot of things.sometimes myself.

I write this cause i need to vent.

I think to much about myself.

I love Jesus.

I doesn't matter only Jesus does.

2009-05-17T23:51:00.003-07:00

1 more week left of this semester.
I want change this summer. to be used.

hmmmmm

PRAY

2009-04-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

Today I went to school. Came home. Rested cause i was feeling icky and than headed to work. well about an hour before we close this lady comes in and i ask if she needs any help. she asked about the prayer ministry and how she could get some prayer, so i inform her and she proceeds to tell me that she was going in for treatments cause she had some sort of cancer(she did not tell me).While i was putting books away i prayer for her and got her name.

Her name is Mary, around 50 years old and middle eastern. She has cancer and she just needs comfort, encouragement and support from the Lord and Christians. Please pray that the Lord would heal her in His way and that He would provide comfort and love. Thanks !!!

Still

In the middle of the water
on this small boat
drifting away from the shore

pressed to get the other side
distracted by the storm

crashing waves
choppy seas
the boat in the midst
of a battle

no chance of sunlight
darkness surrounds
fear has replaced my peace

"Peace be still" I hear
the words of a man with no fear

quickly i rise to see
its my Jesus, He came to rescue me.

The Lord is sooooo good. Its been hard this semester. I have wanted to give up on life, friendships, ministry and school but the Lord did not give up on me. He gave His strength to go on. I believe that God is doing awesome things this year and even though I'm not sure what He wants to do through me, I do know that He is in control. I just want to rest in His love and not walk away from His promises.

Lord, guide me, show me how I can rest in you. Lord help me to believe in Your promises for my life and fill me with Your Spirit to do Your work. God be glorified through me. Thank You for everything. My Jesus, My daddy, My love thank you.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

2009-04-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

ready to give up. its so tempting.

Jesus be my everything cause i need you so much right now.

God be glorified. :)

2009-04-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

Verse of the day.

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."2 Corinthians 12:9

The most comforting thing is knowing that with God's presence and love I can find rest and peace. No matter how many times I may fail or fall, My Jesus is right there. Giving me strength and encouragement. Oh I love that we can go to Him for all of our needs all the time.

God be glorified. :)

Hope?

2009-04-06T23:46:00.001-07:00

Do you ever want to scream so loud causing the birds to fly far off?
Do you ever want to take your heart and smash it into a million pieces cause then maybe it won't hurt?
Do you ever feel so alone inside that life just does not seem worth it?

Life

Sitting at the lifeguard station letter A, watching the waves crash away
looking at the dark sky, wondering why
if that is what my heart looks like.
yelling in my head
can't seem to make a sound
fighting off the darts
that won't back down.
why is it so hard? I ask too many times
the only glimpse of beauty is shimmering off the sea
making colors mesh so well that it fades into the black
Oh, how long will this go on for? How long will it take, before the sun rises
before the dark goes away.
Its been too long. Its been to far. Too far to reach
Two choices await, as I fall to my knees
wait for the dark to fade or sleep just awhile longer.

Steps of faith

2009-04-04T14:26:00.000-07:00

Tuesday this week was a not so good day. I was tired. Frustrated with myself and in line for the enemy to just throw darts.

And then i came home....within ten minutes my mom is trying to open the door. I asked why she is home...."I got fired"....after those words, I seriously was bitter and angry. Questions in my head of "what are we going to do?, How are we going to make it?,Are we going to have to move?" came rushing to my head.

Even in the hardest times God will provide.
I can say that God has really shown Himself to us. We have been praying as a family more often. God has given us assurance that He will provide for us. My mom even told me that the day she got fired, she had read her devotional and it was on God providing. WOW. We serve a faithful God.

So. with all that. I ask for your prayers as we continue to trust in our BIG God.That my mom would find a job that is local and a blessing. Most of all, that the Lord's will would be upon our family.

I am not sure what next will happen as I serve Him, but I do know that God has it all in His hands.

Thanks and hope ya have a blessed weekend.

Seeking His face

2009-03-30T19:03:00.000-07:00

hmm.
should i stay or should i go?

well. All is in the Lord's hands.

Jesus

2009-03-27T23:53:00.000-07:00

At the Cross by Hill song United

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now (x2)

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done (x2)

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
Oh.. I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now? (x2)

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done (x4)

At the cross I bow my knee
Where your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now? (x2)

This song is so awesome. Cause it kinda wraps up somethings in my life. and how even when I fail He loves me, He goes before me and when its done..It is done.

May God be glorified in my life. ITS ALL about JESUS. thank you Lord.

FIVE

2009-03-26T02:57:00.000-07:00

Today is my little brothers 5th birthday. I cant believe how fast time has gone by.

Happy 5th Birthday Atticus John!!!!

I love my little brother lots.

:)

Hmm....

2009-03-18T23:41:00.000-07:00

I sometimes wish that I could run away or go on a random road trip with no destination or time to limit me.
Sometimes I feel like I am not always in on the "important" things of friends or just feeling important.

One thing that I do know is that no matter how many times my friends, family, life fails me...God will never. Tonight one of the teachers at Calvary spoke and finished up our study in Ecclesiastes. It was soooooo good. He said something that really intrigued me, he mentioned the verse from John 15:9- “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.". Jesus spoke that verse and he was saying that as God has loved me, God has loved me. I matter to God. Jesus loves me so much. I really want to just abide in my Saviors arms and be secured by His love.
Many times I am offered the gift of His peace and joy but i reject it. Lord forgive me. Tonight was just so good because I needed to refocus and remember who my first love is.

Life. school is great, i love learning about all of the prophecy things. :)

I don't know what will happen tomorrow...or how God will speak to me but I love hearing from my Creator, my daddy. I love calling God, my daddy... it makes me feel so special.

Lesson- Be addicted to Jesus....just do it.

Jesus LOVES YOU!!!

btw. If any of you few people who follow my blog need prayer for anything just let me know. always love praying for my peeps.

God bless you all.

2009-03-15T22:42:00.001-07:00

Dear blog.

Its been a month since my last post.

Life is hard. I am learning alot. Who my friends are, who I want to be, how much more i need to rely on my Jesus and that no matter what I am told or what i feel, Jesus wants to be my everything. God wants to use this weak,scared and selfish girl for His glory.

O Lord, I am not worthy. Humble me, teach me. Make me more like you.

The end.

Good.

2009-02-16T21:04:00.000-08:00

Praise the Lord!!!

For the past two weeks I have been getting major Spiritual warfare. Just because bible college is intense and i had a hard few weeks.

Last week was my first week back at Bible college and I was not to excited about Intro week. Cause it just kinda gets boring and i loose interest if we aren't really diving into the bible. Well anyway I survived.

The Lord is really breaking me once again and I really am excited to see what the Lord is going to do this semester. He is soooo good and I honestly don't even deserve to be where i am at right now. I love how the Lord speaks to me through the word. He has just been showing me how selfish and weak i really am. that i need Him more than i think i do.

God is so good.

Change.

2009-02-10T20:58:00.000-08:00

This heart of mine is breaking
this heart of mine is focused on
things of this world that don't satisfy

My heart is breaking for the lost and unsaved
my heart is trying to understand their ways
my heart is melting in the hands of the Lord
my heart is aching for what i don't know

Change me from the inside out
change me that i may know your unconditional, never changing, forever beautiful love

wipe away all the broken pieces
please take all my weakness
and use it for nothing more than your glory

fill me, change me, make me yours
hold me, love me, take me away I am yours

I am walking away from that trash that used stay close by my side
now its gone, I am alive.
I will keep walking as you heal this heart
I will keep trusting as you love me.

almost here

2009-01-29T02:28:00.000-08:00

so i have like ten days before school starts and i am really excited.

I am going to be taking
Genesis,Daniel,Revelation and Pastoral Epistles. 14.5 units.

Excited to see what the Lord is going to do this semester.

Please pray that the Lord provides for everything. God is faithful and good.

God bless you all !!!!!!

done.

2009-01-22T13:05:00.001-08:00

I can't explain this towering pain in my heart
I am done with trying to start
something that isn't there

my heart is breaking
I can't stop faking
this harsh reality
I am done with you

I am done
I can't see
the end

no I am done.

It hurts to much.

God is faithful. I am glad that He knows my heart.

Question?

2009-01-08T01:15:00.001-08:00

Content?

Hmm. Was Adam and eve content with their perfect lives in the garden of eden? Was Moses content from having communication with God? Was Thomas content with seeing Jesus after His Resurrection?

In some ways its good to be content.And in others we need to be careful.

Tonight I questioned my motives and what being content really meant. I don't ever want to be just ok with my relationship with God. I don't ever want the flame to go out. This fire that is inside of my heart has passion to grow huge and to pour into others but sometimes being ok just does it. I start to slowly get comfortable with how things are going and I loose the drive to grow, to be better, to live for Him alone. I really don't understand how Job was able to get back on his feet, or how Paul could preach to the very people he once hated. I might be just going off on a limb with this but I just don't want to be satisfied with dust. I don't want ashes, I want real. Pastor Al was talking about how people just want Reality. And that is so true, we want something that we can grasp. I guess that is why sometimes in our christian walks it gets hard to believe and have faith, because we are so craving something to grab, yet the very thing that we can't see is more powerful. It is more real than what is seen. " Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen" Heb 11:1 We must have faith. Without faith we are hopeless. Without hope we are nothing.

Anyway back to be being content. I desire more of Jesus. I am tired of being ok with where I am at with the Lord.

I love this song

In the morning when I rise....give me Jesus.
When I die....give me Jesus.

He is the only one that matters. May we be satisfied in Jesus and in Him alone.
So I will not compromise, I will not settle for less. I will not just be ok, I want to be on fire with the Lord.

Father,
Thank you for showing me yourself. God make this heart of mine burn for you, show me how to be satisfied in you and above all may you be glorified in me always.
To you be the glory forever.
In Jesus name, Amen.

God bless!!!!

Sunlight

2008-12-30T03:40:00.001-08:00

the sunlight capturing the dark night in the photo on my wall
it hangs there waiting to be noticed
the shades perfect in every line
each stroke you can tell took much time

the next piece that follows after
is a picture that reminds me of love
it was taken 3 months before he was born
no imperfection upon this great creation
I am torn from believing it is possible that love
could exist like this

and under each painting has the artist name proudly displayed
one simple word that caught my eye
the reason why i bought it
never knowing the cost that it took

that one name is " I am"

no man can ever take the place of
someone who could save the world from all its pain
no artist could imagine the creation
of the creator or His fame

He is I am the only one
created to be the son
that captures the dark night
making all the shades bright
finding every crack and crease
making it perfect, making it complete.

the sunlight capturing the dark night in the photo on my wall
in the middle of it all is the person I call " I am"

Blessings upon blessings

2008-12-21T00:59:00.000-08:00

Today my car came alive. It has been brought back from the dead. For almost a month I have been out of a car, now good thing that my life is just across the street but it helps to get away.

Well. God is so good. I am reminded when by the Lord of how much He cares, just through my car starting again. My God is a big and good God.

After working for 8 1/2 hours today ...
The first outing..... off to Target...nothing. sorta disappointed with the $5 movie selection. So I ventured to good o' Blockbuster to grab a girl movie. Than I traveled to Rubio's a forgotten expensive love of mine. With dinner and a movie I headed home to have a date with myself. It was pleasant and I was cozy.

Then spent some time with the Lord. My parents were out for the night and it was nice to have the place to myself. I miss just relaxing.

I love Jesus !!!

Heart

2008-12-15T19:59:00.000-08:00

I hear it beat
I hear it pound
whenever You are around

I feel it thump
In my chest
Knowing You are the best

You amaze me, you make this heart beat
You clean it out, make it new
Lord, You fill it with Your unfailing love
As You hold it in Your palms

How grateful I am for this heart of mine
that belongs to You.

I don't know my heart. I don't know how filthy it is or how much cleaning it needs to have done to it. Yet, I do know that God holds it in the palm of His hand. I am so comforted by it.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Thank you Lord for holding me in your hands, thank you for loving me.

Leaves turning colors

2008-12-10T00:37:00.000-08:00

I love fall.

I love how in Spring the colors start to get bright again, the air gets a bit warmer and everything around looks fresh.

Summer time for sun and sun. All is well.

Fall those vibrant and bright colors start to fade and things start to die. But their is still beauty even in that.

I have heard this saying a many times " there are seasons and chapters of our Christian walk". I feel like this semester has definitely been a season of growth and renewal of my relationship with Christ.

Everyday I am challenged to grow deeper, to live a life thriving after His word, and to let go of the things that I don't understand. I have come to realize that the seasons of my Christian life are beneficial even when I don't always want to admit it. I am so blessed to see the Lord do amazing things in my friends. I am so blessed to be in this season, because no matter how hard the process of growing,I am assured that He is there. This growth is to make me more like my Jesus.

"For I know the plans I have for you" i love this section of the verse. God knows the plans that He has for us. When I doubt and wonder what in the world is going on, I can be comforted by the simple truth that He knows all.

This verse keeps on popping up. Not sure why,maybe for a reason but hmm....

" He will feed His flock like a Shepherd;He will gather the lambs with His arms, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young" Isaiah 40:11

Enjoy the season that God has for you, desire His perfect love to pour through you and don't forget that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or think.

God bless!!!

why not some emo ?

2008-12-04T19:13:00.000-08:00

you've got me here waiting in the middle of this storm
and although there are none around, i know i am not alone
I've watched for hours the road i stand on
just another touch of the wind

here i am on my knees
dying inside
not feeling the breeze

You've got me in this place
I don't know the reason why
But i am here
and you are here
with me

i am here
you are here
with me

i am not alone
no i am not alone
you gave me all
that i may see
your love
the love you have for me

i am here
you are here
with me.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-29T21:06:00.000-08:00

hmm... it was interesting as i tell people who ask.

My car will not start. My parents from Riverside had it towed down to Santa ana for me so that way Roger ( stepdad) and i,could look at it.
Than i noticed a flat tire on the left back tire. hmm. So i have a car that won't start with a Full tank of gas and a flat tire.

In other news.... its going to cost at least $100 dollars to fix my distributor...which we are not even sure will fix the problem to make the car work again. Now i have to call the DMV to tell them what happened to my car so that way i can hopefully not be in the whole more money on smog charges.

But in the end......God is in control. He knows the reasoning behind this and He has a plan for me no matter what. God is good. all the time.

Prayer request- that God would provide the money to get my car running again. and that through this I would grow in my trust and faith in Him.

Hope that no matter how your thanksgiving turned out, that God was and will continually be glorified.

:)

In other news

2008-11-18T23:24:00.000-08:00

So. From the beginning of the semester I really felt like God was going to do some major change in my life. I just was so excited to see how God was going to move.

The Lord has done so much in me while attending bible college. Blessings that I never could imagine and growth in who I am in Him.

Theme for this semester: Drawing near to God

"I am my beloved and my beloved is mine"

Waiting on God

2008-11-18T22:31:00.000-08:00

Waiting for the sound of your footsteps
Waiting for the wind to turn the page
Waiting for the tear drop to dry upon my face
Waiting for the road to end

You carried me in my weakness
You showed me how to love
You wiped away all my fears
You brought me to repentance

Now I am walking towards your voice
Searching for those comforting words
Laughing with joy
Running towards the goal

You held my hands
You said I love you
You never walked away
My God you’ll stay right here

I never have to fear
When my heart and flesh fail
I never have to wonder where you are
Your right here
With me
God I can see your beauty

Running, never stopping
Living in your truth
Reaching, never ceasing; to find you.
Your right here,
With me.

Love

2008-11-03T19:18:00.000-08:00

" And now, O LORD for what do I wait? My hope is in You"
Psalm 39:7

Thank you Jesus for all of my friends and great blessings.

He is so worthy to be praised.

Seasons may change...

2008-10-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

Fall !!! FALL !!! FAIL !!! READ ALL ABOUT IT>

I am so excited not only about the season of fall, but also the new chapter I am beginning.The Lord has shown Himself faithful in so many ways just this week. I am a blessed child of the Lord...I have amazing friends that I love, awesome school and great teachers giving God's word in love, sweet parents and the best of all... direct communication with my Abba Father. I love how we can call Him "daddy" !
When I think of a daddy, I see a man playing around with his child and holding on so tight making sure no one will harm them. My DADDY is so loving and GOOD. Sometimes more than most I forget how grand the Lord has made my life. We are heirs of all that He has. And yet we walk around as if Satan has taken that away and that we are nothing to God anymore because of our past sins. I am here to say that no longer do I want to be bound by the chains I have wrapped around my heart nor the enemies.
We have been set free..Thank you Lord.
Anyway. I have been comforted by the Lord's love this week and it has been so neat just giving Him all this baggage I so proudly yet shamefully carry around. But here is the time that I need to get down on my knees, give Him my all in all and watch the Lord time after time remove that thick layer of junk off of my shoulders.

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest" Matt 11:28
Its so simple. And so hard. But so worth it.
Another thing this week I have learned is this verse...

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock." Isaiah 26:3-4
PERFECT PEACE>> sign me up. I want it.

The Lord is perfect in everyway and if my mind is glued to the beauty of Him than all my fears and junk is nothing compared to that perfect peace we are promised. For my God is a big God and is eternal.

Dear Abba Father,
Thank you so much for showing me more of who you are and more of how I want to be. God thank you for allowing me to take part in Your perfect peace. Lord, I ask that you would please remove all that is not of you out of my life and fill me with Your holy spirit and make me more like you. I love you Lord.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.

:) Thanks for reading.kinda long.

2008-09-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

The Lord gave this verse to me before I went to England. And at the time my hearts desire was to go back. God was faithful and did so.

I miss England so much. I pray that someday the Lord would take me back.
For now that verse has a different meaning and all i need to do is trust in Him.

YES

2008-09-28T00:41:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I had my Isaiah class which I can say that at the beginning I was so ready to drop just because my comfort level was quickly fading. Than the Lord really took my heart and showed me to find peace, comfort, confidence in Him alone. I love my class now.The teacher is energetic and sweet. I know that the Lord has put me in this class for a reason. It will be interesting to see what that reason is. Maybe I will never know. But I am just blessed that God is pouring into me. :)

well later on my oldest brother, Justin,came over. Well he started to mess around with my guitar and I showed him a song that I wrote back in March. It was so much fun just trying to see how the chords could work.
And than we decided to go see the movie Eagle eye. Awesome movie.great action movie. I had much fun.

I look forward to fun parties for the upcoming holidays. I look forward to the Lord molding me and shaping me into the woman He desires. So.

God is faithful.

Refuge.

2008-09-20T22:56:00.001-07:00

God is good. I can't even begin to imagine the life that the Lord had planned out for me and to now even capture the blessings. I have been put into a ministry that is such a sweet piece of pie.
The Lord has allowed me to take part in the growth of these high school kids and i love it. I love being used by the Lord and to see these teenagers follow after the Lord. Many of my girls i have seen grow up spiritually and i thank the Lord that i can be part of their lives. I love my girls,my sisters, my friends. I just am excited to see God work in this ministry. Refuge has been way that God used for me to grow and its all for Him.
God is good all the time.

That day

2008-09-20T02:11:00.001-07:00

I look around to find that face
the only warmth that I’ll embrace.
I see those before me stand
rising as he takes my hand
my father giving me that kiss
his blessing on our day

And I pray to the Lord
our soul He keeps
to walk with us in all our needs
to guide our lives to glorify the King

We take the vows heart in heart
ready for that brand new start
sharing the love from Jesus Christ
thanking Him for this life.

The time comes to share with those around
the kisses and hugs that have been bound
for in this joyous occasion
The father is pleased in our submission

We walk down that isle joined in marriage
blessed by the Lord’s love
and in all of our ways acknowledging Him
trusting that God will direct our paths
to a life desiring only Him.

God is faithful!!!

Breaking times

2008-09-14T21:57:00.000-07:00

These walls are breaking down
these walls are breaking
i want to fly to be free from this agony
of the walls i build inside of me

these tears are being whipped away
these tears are whipped away
I want laugh to sing to be free
from these things

this heart is breaking into pieces
this heart is breaking, shattering
I want to know your with me God
till these trials are gone

I am free to be the person you made me to be
I am clean, made new amazed by You.
God make me, brake me, shape me
I want to be like Your Son.

God be glorified in my life. Amen

Worship

2008-09-11T00:06:00.000-07:00

Today was to say the least a lazy one. I did not get much done for homework , waisted some time, and didn't care. But tonight was full of awesome things, great worship, love, Jesus, promises and fellowship.

Love:
I love how God is always there...always
I love how God never changes
I love how God reveals Himself all the time
I love how God is faithful
I love how God comforts
I love how God loves me.

Tonight was sooo good. This was probably the first wednesday night that was so amazing since before England. And i felt so refreshed and ready to see what, where and how the Lord will His work through me. I so desire to be a woman after His heart. Its tough sometimes but o this life, this moment on earth is worth it all that we can spend eternity with the Creator with my daddy. The Lord like non stop since England has been giving me the verses Prov 3:5-6 and Matthew 7:7-8....the trust in the Lord and ASk, Seek, Knock verses. hmmm God is good.
This might not even make sense anymore but its so great to be able to stand on my Rock, My Refuge, My Savior and rest in Him. I want to just bask in His love, I want to dance like there is no tomorrow and shout praises to His name forever more.

MARANTHA> Lord come quickly.

God bless !!!

Why?

2008-09-09T15:22:00.000-07:00

So. I just got my new free phone in the mail . major blessing cause i have had my old phone for 3 years and that is like 20 in phone years so. I am excited to play around with it and yeah. Well that is just one reason to praise my God.

hmm. off to work I go. God bless you all !

Blessings.

2008-09-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

So. I don't know why but today was a great day. :)

I love my job so much... i have it great. Love the customers and their cool stories of how God is working in their lives. I get to be apart of it. :)

I love that God cares so much about our little problems. I was doing Chuck tapes and let me tell you....they are such a blessing. I get so much out of them. So Moses was explaining to the peeps that what was going to happen when they get into the Promise land and they were worrying and Chuck was explaining how God is bigger than our little problems.
That got me. Wow. God cares about my lil ol' problems. And He is a Big God. Why do I forget this? well i do. But i love that God reminds me that I should never need to ever think that He is not great or grand enough to handle my situations.

I love this verse so much, the Lord has been showing this to me lately.

" Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge me, AND I WILL direct your paths" Prov 3:5-6

So all i need to do is trust? simple. yup. simple as that.

Ok Lord so here are all my problems and doubts and fears.
that's it. God is a Big God. So i have learned not to rely on my own hands to crush the pile of junk but to place them in God's huge hands and see them simply disapear.

Lord,
Father,
Thank you for choosing to love me, thank you for allowing me to be apart of your work. Thank you for being faithful in my fearful moments, thank you for never leaving my side and thank you for watching over me as i rest. Lord thank you for always being there in every hardship and in every smiley moment. God thank you for being a big God to take care of my problems and big enough to love me as a sinner. Lord I ask that you would search my heart and remove all that does not belong. Fill me with you and make me into the Woman that you have called me to be. I love you Lord.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen .....

again

2008-08-27T00:46:00.000-07:00

well. this week has been hard and at the same time a real blessing.

God is soo good. He provided for yet again another semester at BC and i am really excited to see all that He has in store.

Tomorrow. work and church. will be much fun.

God bless.

broken

2008-05-06T12:25:00.000-07:00

Its been an interesting year so far. God has been really breaking my own desires and plans. And i am blessed.

Found in the whole of my own faults
lying on the floor dreaming a far off
waiting to be found, to be rescued
I was drowning in the sea of misery
failing to give into His love for me
until He broke my pride
my pain and hurt
broke my plans made them dirt

He gives and takes away
i have learned to not be afraid
of this change that takes place
just to stand in the presence
of the one who found me when i was lost

I am standing at the feet of my Jesus
I am no longer afraid
to walk in the path He laid out for me

Rescued from my sins
that made me dry and bare
I am cleansed by the blood
of the man who truly cared

He is the one who saved me
from the absense of His son
He is the one who carried me
and gladly welcomed me Home.

:)

Something sweet

2006-11-14T19:45:00.001-08:00

He gave me a desire to follow after Him
To lay it all down at His feet
And I could dream of many things that might make me smile
But when I think of His great love my heart stretches a thousand miles

I could have the whole world at my feet and lose my soul for nothing sweet
Or I could give the Lord my life share with Him my dreams
I could walk on clouds and talk with all the saints
But nothing could bring more joy to my sight
To worship Him forevermore, to always walk in the light

My mind can not fathom a life beyond the sea
A whole different world waiting for me
And In this time that I wait for Him to come along
I shall rejoice, dance and sing and give praises to my king

A desire that He has placed in this unclean heart
A promise He didn’t have to make
A life He didn’t have to take
All for His glory all for Him
All this love to erase the sin

What time is this that we should waste on things so untrue?
For He gave me a desire to follow after Him
To lay it all down at His feet
And I could dream of many things that might make me smile
But when I think of His great love my heart stretches a thousand miles

O Lord...

2006-11-07T20:30:00.000-08:00

Today during my long break, i was reading in psalms and came across this verse. I was so blessed and shared it with some peeps. May you be blessed by His word and trust that He has everything in control.

"but let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult you. For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield "- Psalm 5:11-12

Thank you Father, for protecting us, for being our shield in times of need and giving us that joy to exalt and rejoice in your name. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. You truely are worthy to be praised. Amen
In His hands :)

I once was.....

2006-11-02T00:27:00.000-08:00

Lost and confused
broken and bruised
alone and upset
sad and depressed

that is how i used to be
before He found me

know i am found
found and amazed
broken but mended with love
satisfied and alive
happy and blessed

Now i will sing and rejoice
to the Holy one
now i will sing and rejoice
for He is the glorious
we have a glorious
He gave His glorious son.

I am not perfect !!!! Thank you Jesus

2006-10-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

I could sing of your love forever, I could sing of your love forever......

Sometimes all i want is to stop what i am doing and just sit right where i am at. Sometimes the only strength i have is to sit on the side of the road and ponder. And sometimes by just waiting and seeking Him we are able to see the reason why He has made this road in the first place.

I don't always understand the position God has put us in. For the most part I am thankful for that. Last night i really knew that right now where i am at, is ok, its where he has me.
He has me serving Him by going to school , getting good grades and trying my very best at everything that i do. He has me at the Highschool group to minister and to be ministered to. He has me growing at the place that i work at. He has given me many challenges, many tests, and many times to cry to Him , and yell that I need Him. He has me see that my life is filled with His son. I AM NOT PERFECT . I NEED HIS HELP.
The Lord has shown me that if i am open He can take me anywhere, and can fulfill the desires He has put in my heart.
Yes i would love to travel get married, finish school, and many other spectular things. And i want to be here where He has me. This sort of peace that i have is so comforting. How can i fail a life when Jesus is my guide.
I truely beyond all the THINGS that would be nice, i truely just want to be closer to my maker. I want to make HIM proud. That when i die, my life was a relfection of His son.

praise the Lord

2006-10-19T23:04:00.000-07:00

are you ever in a position in a situation where no matter what you try to do, it just gets more complicated and hard, and confusing.
well by golly that is where i am at right now. so goodness.
but through all of our odd humans stuff the LORD is always there.

I have learned that this life is more than living, its more than breathing, this life is about living and breathing for God.

Praise ye the Lord !!!!

WAITING FOR MY PRINCE, RECIEVING A KING

2006-10-14T02:09:00.000-07:00

You are my everything, you are the air I breathe
you are the highest King , you are the song I sing

And everytime that i see your painting in the sky
I marvel at your beauty and all the questions why
why I turn away from you at times?
why do I leave when I need your help?

You are my everything, you are the air I breathe
you are the highest king, you are the song I sing

Here i sit at the lake , waiting for my prince
the road at my side and a journey to take
how do I give up this pride?
there you stand by this rock, ready to carry me
after all this time waiting for a prince
you are more then I asked for, you are the King

Oh precious savior that made for me the path that i will take to see
all of your love and sweet beauty
this preciouse king, save me

I am not my own, no I have no right
to speak of you, to win this fight
you are my everything, the air I breathe the song I sing my holy king.

you speak these simple words of truth
of beauty and love

we are nothing without you
we are everything to your son
now we will rise and sing praises to the holy one

i sing because i see how true all of this life can be
i sing because i know his love and all that it brings

It is so odd how people are always waiting for that one thing that will make them happy or satisfy their needs. I know that girls have that desire to get married and all that fun stuff. We are always waiting for our prince. Now JESUS wants more then that for you , He wants you to have a King not just a prince.
Sometimes we get so cought up in waiting for that prince that we don't have our eyes open to anything else. In that, not only does it apply for women who are waiting for that man but also for anyone waiting for that certain presence that will bring them happiness and joy.
One of my favorite hymms, is , His Eye is On the Sparrow....hymms brighten my day.
It is so amazing how in heaven we will be able to rejoice and praise our KING forever, not just a time but FOREVER. That makes me want to praise Him even more now because our best on earth is like our worst in heaven. WOW i am so jazzed. The Lord is so amazing.
He desires to give us blessing upon blessing. And true desire upon desire.

Oh how i love Jesus , oh how i love Jesus , oh how I love Jesus because He first loved me...

The best thing that i love to do besides talking about nonsense is to PRAY.
PRAYER is really what we need to do for eachother and for God. Prayer is communication , and how can you have a relationship without communication. I encourage you(carly and whoever randomly visits sites) to be blessed and talk with our God.

Love ya....

BLAH

2006-10-13T00:31:00.000-07:00

There is so much that i can say
so many words to pray
a bit of love and care is all
that is all that is all
the lover of my soul
created me to be the image of His son
and when i begin to speak
did i reflect the holy one?

HOW CAN WE BE
SO INNOCENT IN THIS MESSED UP PLACE
HOW CAN I CALL HIS NAME SO HIGH
WHY DOES HE SHED HIS GRACE.

Love and care that is all you need
some faith and trust shall procced and
after all the pain and hurt
trials and scratch
we shall meet our father to hear him say
well done my good and faithful servant.

JESUS

2006-10-08T02:33:00.000-07:00

What can wash away my sins, what can make me whole again , nothing but the blood nothing but the blood of jesus.

gazing at the moon light while sitting on the ground,
finding myself so little, how could i be found.
As i ponder these thoughts that only bring disspair
it says in my fathers word that He is always there.
How could i ever think of not praising my God,
when all my life is even for the glory of the Lord
and yet i do the fleshly things that do not give Him praise
i sometimes desire that will someday fade away
He shall give us strength to do His perfect will
and when we start to gaze at the moon that He has made
the Lord our God will someday share to us,
when He would look at the moon and think of all He has made
the one thing that will bring Him most joy is the day when we where made.
For we are here to do His work to relfect His begotten son
we are here to live and learn like the perfect one.

WORSHIP

2006-10-07T03:26:00.000-07:00

Seriously what is worship? What does worship mean to you?

In my own experience, worship really means more then singing although that is a great way to honor our God. Worship is definatly more then that. When we worship our God, just by praying, fellowshiping, sharing our gifts the Lord has blessed us with and giving God the glory that my friend is worshiping God.
Tonight was so stinking awsome. After the HOUSE (college ministry) Austin, Carly, and I all went down to the HB pier and started playing some songs. It was really really awsome. Then all these peeps from the HOUSE showed up and we all talked and sang and just had sweet fellowship with eachother. During just a random time when everyone was in little groups i had this thought that all these people that i am sitting and hanging out with, i will see them in heaven. These guys and girls are my brothers and sisters in christ. That was just a neat thougth that the Lord gave me. I encourage you to all seek Him and be blessed by the things that our father has provided.

Bless the Lord my soul and all that is with in me bless His holy name....

In His holy and precious name,

I am there…

2006-09-27T12:58:00.000-07:00

When you fall asleep and close your eyes to dream of something sweet
I am there

When you cry and yell for me
I am there by your side, you just can’t see

When you are waiting for all to calm down
I am there to lighten the sound
I am there to unshaken the ground

When all you need is a long embracing hug
I am there with many angels comforting your soul

When you may think I am to far away, just speak to me,
I am there when you pray

And when times in you day are not glorifying to me and rest is all you need
I am there to give you rest to cast those burdens far

Most of all when you FEEL like nothing else could get worse that life is just to hard

Remember the death of my son on the cross,
Although he was sacrificed, it wasn’t a loss

Good can come out of bad, you just have to trust in me

When you are sleeping and resting your soul
Just remember I am there putting back those broken pieces and making you whole.

So next when you close your eyes just get some rest
Remember I am always there by your side giving you the very best

Little Blessings

2006-09-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

Little blessings mean soooo much. I was talking to my bro the other night and after talking to him and his friends i was searching for some verses. I came across this verse and was so blessed by it. So i will now share with you a little blessing. But before i do.
We are His little blessing. He is blessed by being our father. all we have to do is NOTHING. just love HIM.

" There are many plans in a man's heart, Nevertheless the Lord's counsel - that will stand. " Proverbs 19:21

when i read this verse , it really was just an eye opener that we may have our own plans that sometimes don't really include His plans. And because of that sinful nature we miss out on the little blessings. I encourage you all, any body , that if you aren't walking to meet God than you are walking to meet Satan. That is harsh but so true. It says in the bible that we are either for Him or against Him.
Desire His plans for your life. We will fall in sin but He will save us from death. Live your life for Him.
We have that promise " The name of the Lord is a strong tower ; the rightous run in to it and are safe." Proverbs 18:10 .

May you all have a blessed day !!!

2006-09-21T00:43:00.000-07:00

Fall to Him

2006-09-19T23:12:00.000-07:00

even when the sun is out and the wind begins to blow
a overwhelming peace calms my heart to a slow
it is almost like awaking from a long nap
unsure of the surrondings , uncertain of the path
i walk in the heat while i am so cold
i walk through the wind with nothing to hold
and at times i think i will fall on my hands and knees
fearing a god who gives me air to breathe
wondering what my purpose , amazed that He doesn't see
the path's i have taken and choices i have made
once a different person , but now saved.
this confusing time can only get better
a sweeter moment as i read His letter
"Don't give up hope when things are tough
stand even when you may fall
trust that all the times you do choose the wrong
i know that in your heart you are strong."
as i walk on that sunny day as the wind begins to blow
His overwhelming presence calms my heart to a slow.

amazing grace

2006-09-18T22:39:00.000-07:00

Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wrench like me....i once was lost but now i am found was blind but now i see.
The Lord is so awsome. It is truely a privalige to speak of Him. To have friends and to have that fellowship with eachother. I am so excited that we have our life already awaiting us and we just get to stroll on by. Now really , its not that easy to just take life and not have some input in God's glorious plans. Of course we will want to tweak it but the Lord is almighty how could we not trust Him.

Sometimes i stand and stare outside the box, just to get out of where i lie
sometimes i wish that this life wasnt so hard and that all my doubts would dissapear
sometimes i walk in a path i can't seem to see an end that doesnt seem near
and sometimes i sit in the corner waiting for life to end.
In all these times not once even though there was doubt and fear have i ever been alone
when i stood and stared outside that box, He was there
when i wished that this life wasn't so hard , He went through it all
when i walked in the path that awaited new life, He carried me ever step
and when i sat in that corner waiting for life to end , He was there promising me a new life and His hand.
Oh amazing Savior how gracious your king
to live a perfect life , to give us everything.
Oh what a precious God who made us all
my perfect true love who will never let me fall.

Stand, GO and speak of me...

2006-09-13T23:53:00.000-07:00

I can not change the descions i have made,I can not be this person who lives in the world and who lives for the crowd,The Lord has changed my heart and all my future plans he has given me hope and a promse in His hands .
Chorus:
Stand , Go, Speak of me, my child your life is in my Hands
So , Stand, Go , Speak of me, my child your life is in my Hands.
The love of Jesus Christ is truely found in me,
the love of Jesus Christ is truely found in me.
I am not in the world like my flesh desires I choose to be my saviors child and stand before my God . He shows His light through my heart so many can see. The love of Jesus Christ is truely found in me. My sins and flesh are dead and new life is what I have. so i will stand and go and speak of Him to all that i see, i will lift my hands and worship this God . A God of love, love in Him. True love for you and me.

PUT GOD FIRST

2006-09-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

WE ARE THE FAMILY OF GOD.... SO WHY DON'T WE START ACTING LIKE IT.

You know what really hurts God more than it hurts me is when we all get bitter, mean, hurtful , and worldy towards our fellow brothers and sisters. I can say right now that i am that way...i don't like it but sometimes my flesh wants to control my spirit and i let it. now the Lord loves you and me sooooooo much that it hurts Him when we hurt eachother.

Advice: friendship is something that the Lord has blessed us with , so that we may have fellowship and share about Jesus to one another. But if don't treat eachother the way we treat God, than we are just acting like the world. This really bothers me...God tells us that we are His children but honestly lets not act like one. I mean , i love you this day and the next your not my friend anymore. REMEMber that FRIEndship is a blessing not a curse. Words do hurt and someday people will no longer care about that word, it will just be ....oh can i use you now and later i will just throw you out of my life.

Be blessed by what the Lord has given you and also...... if our Lord who sent His only son to DIE for yours and my sins and JESUS can forgive you and me than i am sure that you can at least forgive and hope that the Lord can mend whatever situation. Never ever think that life is over w/out a friend cause even when you dont have any HE is you best friend. Dont ever compromise or think little of our God. Expect great things and know that He will be by your side.
ALWAYS PUT GOD FIRST AND EVERYTHING AFTER THAT.

love ya all,
Melissa

TRUTH

2006-09-06T15:54:00.000-07:00

Ok here's the truth. I want to travel, teach kids, teach as a professor some odd fun thing, sing for church, do worship, learn guitar and make music for God, start a church or be involved with starting one, live in europe, mexico, south africa, riverside, and wherever my Lord has me to live. I think it would be awsome if i finished at OCC, attended bible college, and cal - baptist. I want to be organized and sure that i will pass all my classes with flying colors, always want to be involved with the ministry, eventually go on a missions trip, get a passport, eventually own a truck, trust that God will provide in any situation that i am in. Live with my greatest friends in the world, go on raod trip, pass the tests that God gives me, not care what others think of me( working on that , getting some progress), learn to hip- hop and crip walking, get married and have 3-4 kids and adopt 1. start a bible study and open my home for church things, not fear anything except my Lord. Be a light in this dark world. realize that i can't do anything with my strength that i need to give up my flesh and pride and rely on God to help me through. never change the way God made me instead grow and become the woman after His heart.

The truth comes out. are you ready to listen?
can you even grasp the thought
of more than yourself , of a God?
is it possible to gain a father so fast
to leave the fear behind to never look back
are you ready to change for better?
are you ready to live in love?
is it ok to have these desires
when they glorify the Lord?
questioning the possiblity of them ever taking place
I am ready to listen , scared to grasp anyone but me,
scared to think i have a father that i dont see
i dont need to look back and He forgets your past.
I am ready to change for the better
to live in love
to know that all my desires in Him will be blessed by Him,
and i question His power and mine
in the end knowing He is the truth and devine.

His blessings

2006-08-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

It's not luck like the world seems to call it
It's not just random times that i come so far
It's not gambling with love or even fear
It's not even my own self trying to reapper

It's this man that died along while ago
It's a man who came so far to lift me up
It's a man who never gambeled his life for ours
It's a man who is selfless and cannot fear

O this man i wish to see
the face and voice that comfort me
seeing is not believing or so i have heard
truth is what i see when i hear of this man
and love and joy that He carries in His hands

Rejoice and know that this man is not of flesh
not of selfishness or self confidence
but rather of spirit
a spirit of truth, this truth i want to know.

KNOTT"S BERRY FARM

2006-08-25T16:20:00.000-07:00

So in the top we have lovely morgan and a flower. than our lovely group ....Dain, Adam, Marie , carly , morgan, me , and daniel. than the o so awsome kids on the block expressing their joy as they eat the delicious cotton candy . and marie and carly being very odd. while carly and i are being daft and darn well proud of it. we are no numpty's us peeps wez a smart as birdy...random. that was our daft day. :)

Filled with peace

2006-08-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

So...where ya going to school ?*i dont know, not even sure if thats the Lords plan*.......trusting GOd...........waiting........oh so where ya going to school? Oh well i am going to OCC. yeah thats right the Lord totally provided at the last minute and because of His love i am here to tell you that He is amazing and lovely and most of all the BEST FRIEND I COULD EVER ASK FOR.

I wait at the door hoping for a knock
looking around to see your face
there is no sound near my side
but a warmth in my heart.
Looking about to recognize
the beauty within your son
no more sorrow no more pain
just love and mercy i will gain.

In His hands,
MelAsh

alive

2006-08-16T17:03:00.000-07:00

AFter a time of lostness i have finally understood what God is trying to say. And that He has always showed me the direction i just never had the right focus. Amazing how when everything is going down hill its only God trying to get your attention and thats the only way. The LORD is amazing in so many ways.

FOUND

Driving down that road just looking for a stop
confused and ready to drop
tears start to swell up my eyes
afraid and alone , is it only I?
how can i see this path ?
thats so clear
how do i know the way?

stoping to calm down
afraid to finish this road
almost giving up on something so simple
a desire never realized
can it be real, can i live like this?

lost and confused was I
found and loved am I
chosen by the savior of all
He will pick you up
when you start to fall

dont worry about that path
put your focus on Me
Look around and see this love
this love , it's free.

not so much

2006-08-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

well. I went golfing with my brother and that was really so much fun. Than we got back here and he kinda sorta just left me like as in i am in his room and let me see i have been here for like an hour or two just on the computer while i dont know where or what he is doing. thats just super
ok well adios.

2006-08-14T23:48:00.000-07:00

In AWE

2006-08-14T22:59:00.000-07:00

It's Simply amazing how awsome, wonderful , and glorious the God and father of my life.is. Who am I to praise this truth, simply no one. i have no identity without God. thats right, there is no Melissa without Jesus. And believe me. I thank the dear Lord that He is in control and alive.

Seated I wait in awe of you
clothed in this holy presence
amazed by your glory and love
i am not anything, He is everything.
who am i to see your face?
who am i to see your grace?
who am i to know your son?
i am nothing you are the only one.

You are the one that can't fail
You are the one who's love is real
You are the one in my life
You are the one who made a sacrafice

Amazed i stand in awe of you
i stand because of your beauty
Bowing before my father
crying out to Him.

I am nothing He is the only one.
He is everything.
You are everything.

Will be up in LA for three days so will miss ya guys.
-In His hands.

Hello

2006-08-14T03:15:00.000-07:00

Hello All.
Well the title of this page is Das Kind von Retter. which translation in german means - The child of rescuer. so basically the saviors child . Just wanted to clear that up.
Well have a blessed day.