Thursday, November 20, 2014

expectancy

to expect: to think that something will probably or certainly happen.


I have the tendency to expect. I have the tendency to expect good and bad. And when I place my expectancy on a definite event that will surely happen, I place myself in the "oh no, I'm going to be disappointed" state of mind. This sadly happens often. For instance tonight. I left church tonight knowing that I would have to search for a parking spot..I wasn't expecting to find a spot so soon, but I did. And then I met up with a few friends and ventured over to get some Ice Cream from the oh so mostly faithful McDonald's only to find out that the ice cream machine is broken, producing a very sad face. I expected to get some yummy ice cream only to find out that there was no way I would get any at all. That is just a physical expectancy. But the spiritual expectancy is so much greater. What am I expecting from God?

How many times do I sit down, open my bible and expect God to speak to me....sadly not often enough.

And then I thought....cause I love to think and over think...its just what I do. I thought about how I can always count on Jesus, knowing that He will never disappoint, never come short of perfection and refining. I can surely always expect great and good things from my God. We have verses in the bible that promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. Yet we doubt His record of faithfulness. But is it that He fails us or we have a wrong perspective of expectancy?

Do I set God up to fail me? Do I ask for things while knowing that if He is a good God, He would never supply my want? Do I expect to be disappointed?

Yes.

I expect God who never fails, never stops loving me, never gives up on me, never stopped seeking me, to fail me. Why cause my perspective is not fair. My expectancy is not that He will fail me, its that I will fail Him.

Do you ever find yourself in situations where you would rather quit or walk away because you just know that you will fail? If I didn't fail so much in life, I don't think I would need a reason to continue to get up each time and try harder.

Failing isn't necessarily bad, its how you treat the failing part. Instead of always having this mind set that I will be disappointed, I need to have the mind set that I can trust and expect that God will come through. Tonight my friend pointed out that my perspective needs to change and I need to ask God to change it. Its hard sometimes asking God to change you...it just means that hardship will take place, it won't be easy but it will be good.

Many times I recognize that God is big and able to do more than I could ask or think...many times I say this and pray this because I have been told that He is able, I have seen first hand God do amazing big things in my life and those around me. But many times this saying becomes just a saying and not a belief.

Tonight I was speaking with a high school student and she was sharing how the Lord spoke to her about how she viewed people. She was being challenged to a set apart walk with God. Its easy to get comfortable of not getting challenged in your walk with Jesus.

If I am to expect anything, this should be it...


"as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death." 
Philippians 1:20


IF our expectancy is on the faithful promises of God, why should we ever doubt. Why should we wonder if things will go our way. 

"If God is for us, who can be against us? " 
Romans 8:31

If we continually put our hope, trust and love in God, than we are less likely to fall into the trap of disappointment. 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare
 and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" 
Jeremiah 29:11

This truth and promise that God has plans for me that are beyond my comprehension. They are far beyond my expectation, I rest knowing He is able. He is faithful. He, no matter what, is worthy of my praise. I am prone to seek man for comfort, for acceptance, for love. I am prone to expect rejection and nonacceptance. 
Tonight at church the pastor who was sharing spoke of a place he recently heard of that provides professional cuddlers. My thought at first was why would someone pay for that and how creepy it would be. Which is weirder, the person who requests to be cuddled or the person who provides the cuddling? We all desire acceptance and comfort, love and hope. But the only place searching and resting in, is the arms of the everlasting God. 

The only word that keeps repeating itself over and over is expectancy. This is such a gut wrenching reminder to live an expectant life in Jesus. We are to look to Him and be satisfied. 
As that one worship song that always gets me....
 " I am satisfied in you God, I will abide in You, in the vine" 

EXPECT GOD !!!


Monday, November 03, 2014

twentyseven

My life began twenty-seven years ago at 8:03pm on Tuesday, November 3rd, 1987. 
Melissa Ashley Leveck. Parents, Henry and Cynthia, brothers Justin and Jameson.

And its been such an adventure :)

 I am excited for the journey this next year will bring and the growth that will take place. My desire this year is to live to the utmost. I want to experience His love and adventure further in my walk with Him. 

I have been so blessed by this year alone. Last year in the end of September I ventured with one of my good friends to New Jersey, we traveled 11 states. I consumed my first legit Connoli...it won't be my last for sure. I went to New York, stood at the top of the Empire State building. Fulfilled a dream that I've had for so long to see a Broadway show in the city. I had the best slice of pizza from the underground subway in NY. I was stretched but it was worth it. I met amazing people and was blessed to know that my friend would be in some good hands. :) In December, I wrote a song. In January, I sold my car. And for 8 long months I walked, rode my bike and relied on friends and family to take me places. I was stretched but it was worth it.

Summer was filled with so much travel.In one week alone I traveled with one friend to Nor Cal to visit our bff, see where she grew up, visit the state capitol and feed chickens :) Then came home to take a very long venture overnight to see the Grand Canyon sunset, drive thru desert upon desert, saw pretty places in Arizona that I never knew existed and I learned how to drive a tractor all in less than 3 days. that added 3 more states to my list. and now I have traveled 15 states so far and I'm not done yet :)  In Septemeber the Lord blessed me with a car. A great car. A newer car as in 2010....not 1994. I got my nose pierced and finally dyed my hair red. I have seen lots of change. 

I have seen friends move, have babies, get new jobs, take steps of faith and be a constant example of Jesus. I have gone to funerals and wept, graduations and celebrated the amazing accomplishments that my friends have made, goodbye parties for those who were moving on. I have struggled with my relationship with Jesus, and I have grown. I have been stretched in so many ways but also met by Jesus in more ways than I deserve. 

I am blessed to have family, friends, co-workers, peers and high school students whom I love and love me. I am blessed to know that I am loved. I am cherished and I am uniquely made. 

So 27 years on this earth. I feel like I have learned so much and so little all at the same time. The more I serve in ministry the more I realize how little I really know. The more I am stretched the more I realize just how little I've come but how far Jesus wants to take me. I have been reminded to not compare myself with others, live life to the utmost and seek His joy that is greater than happiness. Travel, eat well and laugh a whole lot. Seek Jesus and seek to be sought by Him. I have learned that rawness is genuine and we all desire to see that in Jesus and in others. 

I have also learned that the beat goes on...so keep going and don't stop :) 

p.s. thanks for reading.