This past week has had its full of heart wrenching adventures. I have grieved for my brothers decisions and questioned the path and calling God has clearly given me. I have sought to hear from the Lord and in its stillness doubted the hope and wisdom of His voice. I have longed for something better and realized my view of God is determined on Jesus just being good enough. When really He should and always be ENOUGH.
I have set my mind not on things above but rather how far my hopes and dreams could travel without God leading them and being the center of them. I have trusted in my feelings and not in His best.
And when I really just want to be numb to it all the Lord helps me recall a word that He gave through a customer a few weeks ago about not compromising.
Jesus is enough. How many times will I have to fight with my flesh and be beaten down to fully grasp that. But how many times will God restore me and teach me and love on me till I grasp that.
Even when the fish do not enter into the net and I sit waiting for riches in men... Jesus joins me and brings life, brings provision, brings realization that apart from Him we can't sustain. I love that Peter was able to have a boat load of fish only when He surrendered to the Master's call. I need to be reminded of this. I need to daily surrender and place my trust in Him.
And when my heart is aching for life to be full, I just need to open my eyes.
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and HE delights in his way" Psalm 37:23