I frequently fail.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26
As much as I complain often in my heart about where I am at in life, I could not be better without my Jesus.
I forget to be thankful for the areas the Lord has grown me in and refuse to change in the areas I am terrified to walk through. I fear the unknown. My joy is definitely not constant and I choose ignoring the things that could change me and I run the opposite direction. I have a huge heart for the high school ministry. I love serving the kids and I am challenged by their walks, their questions, their curiosity, their doubts and their love for Jesus. I am challenged to know Jesus more so that I can love them like Jesus. But again and again and again I fail.
Many times because of pride we often reject the thought that we fail. Sometimes we tend to put on such a show to others that we start to believe we are not affected by what goes on around us. I am NOT perfect. I am not always in the "mood" to read my bible, to hear what Jesus has to say, or to always have a joyful heart. But I want to. I desire to be continually transformed into His image. Earlier this week as I was talking to one of my high schoolers, she had shared that one of the things she notices in the counselors is Joy. I was a bit caught off guard because there are many times I do not feel joy or that I appear to have it. Many times I feel quite the opposite. That challenged me to examine my heart, I am so thankful that even when I don't feel worthy or able to serve Jesus, He still uses me. His Spirit is still transforming me.
But Joy is not a feeling, it is not something I can buy and its not something that I can create. Joy can only come from the Lord. I believe it is a choice and it is a gift.
I frequently fail. But my God never fails.
I challenge you to be honest with the Lord and watch Him transform you into His image.
Jesus didn't save perfect people, He saved you knowing your broken sinful nature so that He could perfect you.