Friday, September 20, 2013

Making sense

Often times I get so caught up in the next chapter or next step that I forget to breathe. I love how there are so many stories in the bible of how people doubted God but that His faithfulness always was the center of the story. I'm so thankful that I can count on my Jesus to lead and guide me wherever I go.
Abraham was chosen to bring forth a son who would change the world. Abraham was chosen to take a step of faith. David was chosen to be leader. Rebecca was chosen to be the wife of Isaac. Jonah was chosen to bring the good news to a dying place. Moses was chosen to lead the people to the promise land. Joseph was chosen to be the husband of Mary. Daniel was chosen to stand up for his beliefs, even unto death. Paul was chosen to show us what a true disciple looks like. All these people didn't one day say " Hey Lord, I want to be taken through the roughest of times and die for you if I have to." I'm not sure if they would of followed the direction of the Lord without knowing securely that they were in good hands. Its says clearly in the bible that He will not leave nor forsake us. Yet...I place my trust in man. I place my trust in unsure objects.

I am at awe of how the Lord chose these people knowing there downfalls and disobedient attitudes. I am not worthy of His guidance or blessings. A lot of the times I can say that I've been an Abraham who doubted the blessings of God, or a Jonah who denied the leading of the call. Or Paul who spat at the people he would soon come to love. Or Moses who was angered and impatient and wasn't able to enter into the promise land. But....we aren't always going to see the end result. We are given certain tasks in life and its not always going to be easy. In fact it will be difficult and tiring and sometimes impossible. Has he ever given me a reason to doubt him? and the answer will always be NO. So I challenge you and myself to TRUST in the never failing, all knowing and all loving vast creator of the this universe and all that we cannot see, because [if] we are worth so much to Him, is it that hard to believe it.

"Trust in the LORD" and the rest will be great.

"I am not my own
He bought me at a price
the highest king of all the land
made me His greatest prize

in his unfailing love
i rest to further depths
that life is far better
when I'm walking in His steps

Oh vast creator
please shine your glory on me
that as I travel this unknown land
your beauty will lead me home "

warning: this post is not supposed to make sense.

Friday, September 06, 2013

I am selfish

Being selfish is probably one of the easiest things one can do. It does not involve much effort nor is there much gain by being selfish. Because at the end of the end up alone with a house full of nothing and no one to share it with.

I am Selfish. this is one of my poor qualities. I am not proud of it, in fact I tend to forget how selfish I really am, till I am reminded through the simple act of walking dogs.

This week and the next I am so blessed to house/ dog sit for a lady and her husband. I'm not only getting paid, but her house is literally five blocks away from the beach, the weather is ALWAYS perfect here and she has cable. YAY!!! I'm a TV junky right now, since we don't have cable at my house I am soaking up all the benefits of getting away for two weeks. And after being alone with the two dogs for a week now, its been well..lonely. I've had a lot of time to think as I'm waiting for the commercials to end or  as I am driving to and from work and as I am walking the dogs. Time to think about me and where I am at in life and how I live for me and me alone ALL the time. This clicked this afternoon when I came home and immediately was beckoned by the furry creatures to take them on an adventure. But all I wanted to do was kick off my shoes and relax. After walking the dogs for a week now, I have become a pro. I know all the streets and the places they like to go. I have noticed that in the morning bright and early the dogs are soooooo anxious and excited to get out of the house, do their business and make their mark on the streets. Their excitement is felt by the jolting of the leashes as I try not to trip over them, they are almost pulling me along. And towards the end of the 20 minute walk, I'm not the one being pulled anymore. 

I feel like this is me in a nutshell. When I first was passionate about the Lord I made an effort to get to know Him, I went to church 5 times a week, I was involved in three different ministries and life was busy. I wasn't thinking about the lack of rest I was getting because I didn't really care. I just had this passion and excitement for all that was going on around me. I was in a sense being pulled by all of the amazing teaching that I was receiving and  the great fellowship that I was apart of. I was always being uplifted and encouraged and through that I was pouring into others. But than the Lord, took me to a place of surrender. At that time I surrendered all that was keeping me busy and was brought to a place of rest. I never want to be at place where I am dragging others down with me, because of my lack of zeal for the Lord. I realized as I was taking those dogs on their stroll that Jesus is the only one who can fully keep me grounded and always their to uplift me. I can't always be there for my friends nor can they be there for me. My reliance should always be on the giver of life, the one who paints beauty in the sky that takes my breath away.

After being reminded once again that I need Jesus now more than ever, my perspective of me and the plan God has, just got a whole lot clearer. The moment I decrease, is the moment He can fully use me.

"For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere." James 3:16-17

Are we willing to be obedient to the call? Are you tired of being SELFISH? Are you the one being pulled or the one puling? Are you willing to be used?

There is a balance in life though, we are called to constantly lay down our lives for the Lord., we are not told that it will be easy or fun, but that the outcome will be all worth it. Jesus always laid down His life for His disciples  Jesus knew that He only had so much time on this earth to make an impact and He used it all to point the people back to the creator of the universe.

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." 
Philippians 2:1-4

"I am in awe of the majesty of my King and humbled by His humility 
I am in awe of His love and the sacrifice He made for me
I am honored to be called His beloved and unworthy to have Him as my Savior
I am captivated by His tender grace that no has no bounds
I am brought to my knees in surrender
and I am not; without the fall a lost and saved soul"

:Praying you take some time and seek the Lord on the areas your struggling in, He will always meet your where your at, you just need to ask . 

- Mis