Tuesday, December 30, 2008


the sunlight capturing the dark night in the photo on my wall
it hangs there waiting to be noticed
the shades perfect in every line
each stroke you can tell took much time

the next piece that follows after
is a picture that reminds me of love
it was taken 3 months before he was born
no imperfection upon this great creation
I am torn from believing it is possible that love
could exist like this

and under each painting has the artist name proudly displayed
one simple word that caught my eye
the reason why i bought it
never knowing the cost that it took

that one name is " I am"

no man can ever take the place of
someone who could save the world from all its pain
no artist could imagine the creation
of the creator or His fame

He is I am the only one
created to be the son
that captures the dark night
making all the shades bright
finding every crack and crease
making it perfect, making it complete.

the sunlight capturing the dark night in the photo on my wall
in the middle of it all is the person I call " I am"

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Blessings upon blessings

Today my car came alive. It has been brought back from the dead. For almost a month I have been out of a car, now good thing that my life is just across the street but it helps to get away.

Well. God is so good. I am reminded when by the Lord of how much He cares, just through my car starting again. My God is a big and good God.

After working for 8 1/2 hours today ...
The first outing..... off to Target...nothing. sorta disappointed with the $5 movie selection. So I ventured to good o' Blockbuster to grab a girl movie. Than I traveled to Rubio's a forgotten expensive love of mine. With dinner and a movie I headed home to have a date with myself. It was pleasant and I was cozy.

Then spent some time with the Lord. My parents were out for the night and it was nice to have the place to myself. I miss just relaxing.

I love Jesus !!!

Monday, December 15, 2008


I hear it beat
I hear it pound
whenever You are around

I feel it thump
In my chest
Knowing You are the best

You amaze me, you make this heart beat
You clean it out, make it new
Lord, You fill it with Your unfailing love
As You hold it in Your palms

How grateful I am for this heart of mine
that belongs to You.

I don't know my heart. I don't know how filthy it is or how much cleaning it needs to have done to it. Yet, I do know that God holds it in the palm of His hand. I am so comforted by it.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Thank you Lord for holding me in your hands, thank you for loving me.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Leaves turning colors

I love fall.

I love how in Spring the colors start to get bright again, the air gets a bit warmer and everything around looks fresh.

Summer time for sun and sun. All is well.

Fall those vibrant and bright colors start to fade and things start to die. But their is still beauty even in that.

I have heard this saying a many times " there are seasons and chapters of our Christian walk". I feel like this semester has definitely been a season of growth and renewal of my relationship with Christ.

Everyday I am challenged to grow deeper, to live a life thriving after His word, and to let go of the things that I don't understand. I have come to realize that the seasons of my Christian life are beneficial even when I don't always want to admit it. I am so blessed to see the Lord do amazing things in my friends. I am so blessed to be in this season, because no matter how hard the process of growing,I am assured that He is there. This growth is to make me more like my Jesus.

"For I know the plans I have for you" i love this section of the verse. God knows the plans that He has for us. When I doubt and wonder what in the world is going on, I can be comforted by the simple truth that He knows all.

This verse keeps on popping up. Not sure why,maybe for a reason but hmm....

" He will feed His flock like a Shepherd;He will gather the lambs with His arms, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young" Isaiah 40:11

Enjoy the season that God has for you, desire His perfect love to pour through you and don't forget that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or think.

God bless!!!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

why not some emo ?

you've got me here waiting in the middle of this storm
and although there are none around, i know i am not alone
I've watched for hours the road i stand on
just another touch of the wind

here i am on my knees
dying inside
not feeling the breeze

You've got me in this place
I don't know the reason why
But i am here
and you are here
with me

i am here
you are here
with me

i am not alone
no i am not alone
you gave me all
that i may see
your love
the love you have for me

i am here
you are here
with me.

Saturday, November 29, 2008


hmm... it was interesting as i tell people who ask.

My car will not start. My parents from Riverside had it towed down to Santa ana for me so that way Roger ( stepdad) and i,could look at it.
Than i noticed a flat tire on the left back tire. hmm. So i have a car that won't start with a Full tank of gas and a flat tire.

In other news.... its going to cost at least $100 dollars to fix my distributor...which we are not even sure will fix the problem to make the car work again. Now i have to call the DMV to tell them what happened to my car so that way i can hopefully not be in the whole more money on smog charges.

But in the end......God is in control. He knows the reasoning behind this and He has a plan for me no matter what. God is good. all the time.

Prayer request- that God would provide the money to get my car running again. and that through this I would grow in my trust and faith in Him.

Hope that no matter how your thanksgiving turned out, that God was and will continually be glorified.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

In other news

So. From the beginning of the semester I really felt like God was going to do some major change in my life. I just was so excited to see how God was going to move.

The Lord has done so much in me while attending bible college. Blessings that I never could imagine and growth in who I am in Him.

Theme for this semester: Drawing near to God

"I am my beloved and my beloved is mine"

Waiting on God

Waiting for the sound of your footsteps
Waiting for the wind to turn the page
Waiting for the tear drop to dry upon my face
Waiting for the road to end

You carried me in my weakness
You showed me how to love
You wiped away all my fears
You brought me to repentance

Now I am walking towards your voice
Searching for those comforting words
Laughing with joy
Running towards the goal

You held my hands
You said I love you
You never walked away
My God you’ll stay right here

I never have to fear
When my heart and flesh fail
I never have to wonder where you are
Your right here
With me
God I can see your beauty

Running, never stopping
Living in your truth
Reaching, never ceasing; to find you.
Your right here,
With me.

Monday, November 03, 2008


" And now, O LORD for what do I wait? My hope is in You"
Psalm 39:7

Thank you Jesus for all of my friends and great blessings.

He is so worthy to be praised.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Seasons may change...


I am so excited not only about the season of fall, but also the new chapter I am beginning.The Lord has shown Himself faithful in so many ways just this week. I am a blessed child of the Lord...I have amazing friends that I love, awesome school and great teachers giving God's word in love, sweet parents and the best of all... direct communication with my Abba Father. I love how we can call Him "daddy" !
When I think of a daddy, I see a man playing around with his child and holding on so tight making sure no one will harm them. My DADDY is so loving and GOOD. Sometimes more than most I forget how grand the Lord has made my life. We are heirs of all that He has. And yet we walk around as if Satan has taken that away and that we are nothing to God anymore because of our past sins. I am here to say that no longer do I want to be bound by the chains I have wrapped around my heart nor the enemies.
We have been set free..Thank you Lord.
Anyway. I have been comforted by the Lord's love this week and it has been so neat just giving Him all this baggage I so proudly yet shamefully carry around. But here is the time that I need to get down on my knees, give Him my all in all and watch the Lord time after time remove that thick layer of junk off of my shoulders.

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest" Matt 11:28
Its so simple. And so hard. But so worth it.
Another thing this week I have learned is this verse...

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock." Isaiah 26:3-4
PERFECT PEACE>> sign me up. I want it.

The Lord is perfect in everyway and if my mind is glued to the beauty of Him than all my fears and junk is nothing compared to that perfect peace we are promised. For my God is a big God and is eternal.

Dear Abba Father,
Thank you so much for showing me more of who you are and more of how I want to be. God thank you for allowing me to take part in Your perfect peace. Lord, I ask that you would please remove all that is not of you out of my life and fill me with Your holy spirit and make me more like you. I love you Lord.
In Jesus Name,

:) Thanks for reading.kinda long.

Monday, September 29, 2008

The Lord gave this verse to me before I went to England. And at the time my hearts desire was to go back. God was faithful and did so.

I miss England so much. I pray that someday the Lord would take me back.
For now that verse has a different meaning and all i need to do is trust in Him.

Sunday, September 28, 2008


So yesterday I had my Isaiah class which I can say that at the beginning I was so ready to drop just because my comfort level was quickly fading. Than the Lord really took my heart and showed me to find peace, comfort, confidence in Him alone. I love my class now.The teacher is energetic and sweet. I know that the Lord has put me in this class for a reason. It will be interesting to see what that reason is. Maybe I will never know. But I am just blessed that God is pouring into me. :)

well later on my oldest brother, Justin,came over. Well he started to mess around with my guitar and I showed him a song that I wrote back in March. It was so much fun just trying to see how the chords could work.
And than we decided to go see the movie Eagle eye. Awesome movie.great action movie. I had much fun.

I look forward to fun parties for the upcoming holidays. I look forward to the Lord molding me and shaping me into the woman He desires. So.

God is faithful.

Saturday, September 20, 2008


God is good. I can't even begin to imagine the life that the Lord had planned out for me and to now even capture the blessings. I have been put into a ministry that is such a sweet piece of pie.
The Lord has allowed me to take part in the growth of these high school kids and i love it. I love being used by the Lord and to see these teenagers follow after the Lord. Many of my girls i have seen grow up spiritually and i thank the Lord that i can be part of their lives. I love my girls,my sisters, my friends. I just am excited to see God work in this ministry. Refuge has been way that God used for me to grow and its all for Him.
God is good all the time.

That day

I look around to find that face
the only warmth that I’ll embrace.
I see those before me stand
rising as he takes my hand
my father giving me that kiss
his blessing on our day

And I pray to the Lord
our soul He keeps
to walk with us in all our needs
to guide our lives to glorify the King

We take the vows heart in heart
ready for that brand new start
sharing the love from Jesus Christ
thanking Him for this life.

The time comes to share with those around
the kisses and hugs that have been bound
for in this joyous occasion
The father is pleased in our submission

We walk down that isle joined in marriage
blessed by the Lord’s love
and in all of our ways acknowledging Him
trusting that God will direct our paths
to a life desiring only Him.

God is faithful!!!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Breaking times

These walls are breaking down
these walls are breaking
i want to fly to be free from this agony
of the walls i build inside of me

these tears are being whipped away
these tears are whipped away
I want laugh to sing to be free
from these things

this heart is breaking into pieces
this heart is breaking, shattering
I want to know your with me God
till these trials are gone

I am free to be the person you made me to be
I am clean, made new amazed by You.
God make me, brake me, shape me
I want to be like Your Son.

God be glorified in my life. Amen

Thursday, September 11, 2008


Today was to say the least a lazy one. I did not get much done for homework , waisted some time, and didn't care. But tonight was full of awesome things, great worship, love, Jesus, promises and fellowship.

I love how God is always there...always
I love how God never changes
I love how God reveals Himself all the time
I love how God is faithful
I love how God comforts
I love how God loves me.

Tonight was sooo good. This was probably the first wednesday night that was so amazing since before England. And i felt so refreshed and ready to see what, where and how the Lord will His work through me. I so desire to be a woman after His heart. Its tough sometimes but o this life, this moment on earth is worth it all that we can spend eternity with the Creator with my daddy. The Lord like non stop since England has been giving me the verses Prov 3:5-6 and Matthew 7:7-8....the trust in the Lord and ASk, Seek, Knock verses. hmmm God is good.
This might not even make sense anymore but its so great to be able to stand on my Rock, My Refuge, My Savior and rest in Him. I want to just bask in His love, I want to dance like there is no tomorrow and shout praises to His name forever more.

MARANTHA> Lord come quickly.

God bless !!!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008


So. I just got my new free phone in the mail . major blessing cause i have had my old phone for 3 years and that is like 20 in phone years so. I am excited to play around with it and yeah. Well that is just one reason to praise my God.

hmm. off to work I go. God bless you all !

Monday, September 08, 2008


So. I don't know why but today was a great day. :)

I love my job so much... i have it great. Love the customers and their cool stories of how God is working in their lives. I get to be apart of it. :)

I love that God cares so much about our little problems. I was doing Chuck tapes and let me tell you....they are such a blessing. I get so much out of them. So Moses was explaining to the peeps that what was going to happen when they get into the Promise land and they were worrying and Chuck was explaining how God is bigger than our little problems.
That got me. Wow. God cares about my lil ol' problems. And He is a Big God. Why do I forget this? well i do. But i love that God reminds me that I should never need to ever think that He is not great or grand enough to handle my situations.

I love this verse so much, the Lord has been showing this to me lately.

" Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge me, AND I WILL direct your paths" Prov 3:5-6

So all i need to do is trust? simple. yup. simple as that.

Ok Lord so here are all my problems and doubts and fears.
that's it. God is a Big God. So i have learned not to rely on my own hands to crush the pile of junk but to place them in God's huge hands and see them simply disapear.

Thank you for choosing to love me, thank you for allowing me to be apart of your work. Thank you for being faithful in my fearful moments, thank you for never leaving my side and thank you for watching over me as i rest. Lord thank you for always being there in every hardship and in every smiley moment. God thank you for being a big God to take care of my problems and big enough to love me as a sinner. Lord I ask that you would search my heart and remove all that does not belong. Fill me with you and make me into the Woman that you have called me to be. I love you Lord.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen .....

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


well. this week has been hard and at the same time a real blessing.

God is soo good. He provided for yet again another semester at BC and i am really excited to see all that He has in store.

Tomorrow. work and church. will be much fun.

God bless.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008


Its been an interesting year so far. God has been really breaking my own desires and plans. And i am blessed.

Found in the whole of my own faults
lying on the floor dreaming a far off
waiting to be found, to be rescued
I was drowning in the sea of misery
failing to give into His love for me
until He broke my pride
my pain and hurt
broke my plans made them dirt

He gives and takes away
i have learned to not be afraid
of this change that takes place
just to stand in the presence
of the one who found me when i was lost

I am standing at the feet of my Jesus
I am no longer afraid
to walk in the path He laid out for me

Rescued from my sins
that made me dry and bare
I am cleansed by the blood
of the man who truly cared

He is the one who saved me
from the absense of His son
He is the one who carried me
and gladly welcomed me Home.